Monty's Gaming and Wireless Outlook - Issue 202

It's unlikely that mobile phone users will get a signal in Beirut this weekend. Not only is the sky alive with the sound of Israeli jets, it is also alive with the buzz of jamming... and we're not talking Robert Nesta Marley.

I went to Beirut once for a job. I saw an advert in the Guardian asking for sub-editors to work for the Daily Star - the only English language newspaper in Beirut. So I went there... for a job... to catch up with my peers. What a twit.

I did learn much in those four days before I scurried back to unemployment. I learnt not to hurry through customs because whatever questions they ask you, there's always a Syrian at the end of the line and he's as scary as any Touton Macoute... somebody who looks as if torture is a mere sorbet between real violence. "No, mate, I've never been to Israel. Please don't kill me. Cheers. Taxi!"

I heard the Waterboys on the radio in Beirut and I spent 25 very happy drunken minutes as the only night visitor at the Beirut Lunar Park on the big wheel intoning to myself: "I'm on the biggest big wheel in the Middle East", but I said it so often as I reached the apogee of each curve that I even bored myself.

I learnt there were no drink-driving laws in Beirut and all the seafood along the coast was poisoned.I also learnt in Beirut that nobody had landlines because the exchanges had been bombed beyond repair and everybody used mobiles. This felt weird at the time because I still didn't own a mobile phone... I thought they were the devil's work.

The point being is that if you can't use a mobile in Beirut, then nothing works. But, as usual, traditional Arabic hospitality has come to the rescue of the beleageured Beirutans. Jordanian operator Fastlink is now providing free network coverage to citizens of the city while the 'current crisis continues'.

Unfortunately for all involved, Fastlink may be providing free coverage for much longer than the foreseeable future... I learnt that much about the Middle East a long time ago.