Monty's Gaming and Wireless Outlook - Issue 212

"When I heard of Franco's death, I went home, watched the funeral on TV, listened to Patti Smith's Radio Ethiopia, smoked a huge joint and had weird sex with a close friend." - Spanish journalist Francisco Umbral

Now that's the way to say goodbye to an unpopular leader of a country! But this week's valedictory speech by UK Prime Minister Tony Blair was largely ignored by the British public who couldn't even be bothered to have sex with themselves when the news finally came through.

The problem for Blair is that about halfway through his tenure as leader he began to metamorphise into the actor Tim Curry when he played Frank N. Furter in the Rocky Horror Picture Show... and once that image is in your head, there's no shaking it... the image that is, not the head.

The other small snag for Blair was his insincerity while he put on his Tim Curry look-and-feel. Lots of us have heard that voice on TV and the radio but not so many know what his phone manner is like on a mobile. That's where the Truthful Calls service from South Korea's KTF would have proved to be invaluable if any us managed to get through to Blair.

This service uses a voice analysis system to test the honesty of the person being called. During the call, different sounds are played that identify emotional states. At the end of the call the caller then gets a message with a bar graph depicting truthfulness, along with stress levels, the number of inaccurate answers and attempts to change the subject. Sound familiar?

Spooky, but not bad. Furthermore, KTF also offers a Love Detector service that automatically tells the caller the 'love level' of the other person every 10 seconds or so. A handy service no doubt, but one to be avoided if Tony Blair was calling - unless you like that sort of thing.

There again, we all celebrate in our own way and maybe Blair toasted his own departure by taking a few calls while listening to his favourite band rockers Free, not inhaling on a spliff as he had cross-dressing Rocky Horror sex with his fragrant wife. And we wouldn't need the Love Detector service to believe that one.