Monty's Gaming and Wireless Outlook - Issue 166

“Connected to a mobile phone with Bluetooth it becomes an intimate, silent connection between two lovers, regardless of distance. Custom designed for your pleasure, it is intelligent, sophisticated and invented for bliss. The Toy is worn internally, linked to a mobile phone and controlled by SMS text messages sent to the phone. Once read, the message is transported automatically to The Toy, which turns it into vibrations - with a huge range of movements, depending on what you have written. Just say what you feel, The Toy will do the rest.”

Unfortunately the above blurb does not describe this newsletter, which while undeniably sexy, has its limitations. Instead, it is the Cool & Groovy Toy Company that promises unbridled joy for its customers with a ‘hi-tech vibrating bullet’ that is activated by text messages that contain a secret six-digit tag.

This coveted product is being marketed as a way of gentlemen staying in touch with their partners by sending suggestive messages. Call me a cynic, but I have a feeling that lots more women will enjoy sending messages to themselves – an action that will further reinforce the argument that women don’t actually need men at all.

But sometimes telecom operators DO need each other and this week saw Spanish giant Telefónica make a £18 billion cash bid to buy UK operator O2. Not only that, but the company also announced plans to float Big Brother creators Endemol for £1.4 billion as one way of helping to finance the deal. Mmmm, interesting, but haven't Telefónica been here before?

It was more than five years ago that Big Brother first came to our TV and computer screens - a show that I worked on for six months as Internet PR Director. Between me and you, nudge-nudge, wink-wink, off-the-record the £2 million cost of the first series was reputed to be bankrolled by Terra, at that time a Spanish ISP that was owned by Telefónica.

The cunning plan was to use the show as a Trojan horse for the Terra brand and make it a household name that was as well known as other ISPS such as Freeserve. Unfortunately, the ruse didn't quite come off and Terra went on to merge with Lycos, while the UK public remained ignorant of its existence.

Not that Telefónica were bothered. The company has since stamped a huge footprint in South America and its acquisition of O2 is a logical step (sorry) in its evolution. For the other big four operators, however, there are likely to be lots of heads looking over shoulders. Telefónica's entry into the UK market is a ‘hi-tech vibrating bullet’ they didn't expect, and, unlike The Toy, will not be giving them any pleasure at all.